“I get to experience the world in a unique way. I can see the wind, hear the flowers.”
As a kid, I was both an awkward communicator and an empath. It took me a decade to realize it, but the immense frustration I experienced was largely a result of the unverbalized responses to my clumsy conversation. I remember analyzing my family and classmates to better understand how my methods of communication differed from their own.
There are a number of formulas I use, but none is more frequently pulled from my toolbox than The Distillation of Success. There’s power and versatility within it’s simplicity.
- Collect examples of your desired outcome
- Identify elements they share in common
- Craft the framework for your success
- Follow the yellow brick road
It’s the reason I will cruise Reddit’s /r/all for the top voted submissions of the month or YouTube’s trending videos in search of new understandings for which elements foster success, and in what conditions. It’s also the reason I often ask people—men and women, single or dating—about their methods and results with various online dating apps.
The more information you have, the more dots you can connect.
Last night, while sauntering through YouTube’s trending videos, I found an emotionally charged video journal from John Green as he shared his love affair for fellow creators.
There are so many nuggets of insight packed within Green’s video. Here are my favorites:
There’s an element in my appreciation of other people’s work that’s more of “I want to be like them, I want to make things as good as what they make” and I think that’s where some of my ambition comes from.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with and the same is true for the content with which you consume. Curate your surroundings for desired growth.
Sometimes “I like you” gets caught up with “I want to be like you” but those things are not the same thing.
This one was a gut check as it encapsulated the dangers of a trap with which I’ve often become ensnared. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed with love for someone’s voice. Years have passed as I had unknowingly allowed my appreciation for communications like Ash Ambirge and Casey Neistat to overshadow the current state of my own abilities and it prevented me from starting. I had to shift to “I want you being you to inspire me to be me.”
I really enjoyed this trip, but I do not want to live in Los Angeles. I need to be a step away. Being an observational fan is in a lot of ways better than being inside. I never want to lose the fan bit, otherwise these last weeks would not be as invigorating as they have.
This reminded me of a close friend. The magnificence of his magnanimousness is only rivaled by his modestly and humble gratitude for those around him. He doesn’t see himself in the same way others do, but that’s often acted as a form of protection. People all around him are constantly selling what he “should do” but it’s actually what they would want to do if they were in his position. Thing is, he is not them and they are not him. Investing in your relationship with yourself is the only shield that will fend off unsolicited support dictators.
I get to be friends with the people I’m fans of.
In the initial dissection of filmmaker Mister S’s ventures within Ghost Influence, he identified that the majority of his clients originate from conversations with colleagues. This wasn’t too surprising as it had been clear that he was a talented (offline) communicator and deeply passionate about supporting those around him. We’re now working on using tools like the Charlie Extension and Ninja Outreach to foster more friendly conversations and ultimately create friendships with those whom he is a fan of. Simplicity is magical.
After being hit in the feels with Green’s video, Apple hit me again with ‘Dillan’s Voice’.
“Now you can hear me, the iPad helps me to not only see my words but to hold onto my thoughts. Having a voice has changed everything in my life. No more isolation.”
Apple didn’t ask Dillan to speak so they could use him in their marketing. Apple enabled Dillan to have a voice and the gratitude he spoke was immeasurably more powerful.
It’s far more powerful to foster emotion than to manufacture it. It’s also much easier.
Leverage the Distillation of Success to see how others communicate, share, create, etc. and develop your own framework. Only by looking inward can you differentiate how your “success” lives by a different definition than those around you.
How does this make you feel?